I'm not a good dying person. Or maybe I'm one of the best. My wifes grandmother passed away yesterday. She was a very nice lady who raised a very nice family. Four daughters to be exact. But I believe in God and heaven and taxes. I'm prone to think that people are going to a better place when they leave here. And while I've lost people I miss a great deal, I'm glad they went to that better place.
I haven't cried at a funeral since I was young. It's not that I don't care. Or have some sort of emotional display disorder (I'm not freaked out by a guy crying). I just realize that the pain is here...with us. Not with the loved one that passed. In essence, we're crying for ourselves that we won't have that person around any longer. They aren't in that body in the casket. There spirit has moved on. And so we're left with a big empty hole that we fill with sadness. Well, I don't. I fill it with happy stuff....good memories of times spent together. I still miss them. I just miss them with a smile.
But then people think I'm not sympathetic, which is far from true. I feel very deeply for someones loss. That's a very real pain. I just face it different. Take this photo for example. It was taken by this photojournalist who has an awesome blog. He was in Haiti after the quake and this orphan girl just found out she wouldn't be getting to go meet here new family. Still makes me sad. So I just hope like hell that she's found some happiness. Just like I hope my wife and her family will find some happiness in this sad time.
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4 comments:
I'm sorry to hear about your family's loss Dave. But glad to know that you've found a good way to approach the pain and emotions that come along with it.
Grieving is such a weird gig...it's so incredibly personal, how each of us grieves and deals with death...and yet we're all looking at each other to see how others react.
Bless your perspective, your faith, and your love at a time like this. Everyone, whether they need it or not, needs someone like you around when someone they love dies.
I'm sorry for your loss, Dave.
Beautifully expressed Dave, with a gut-wrenching honesty and heartfelt clarity I have simply never experienced before. This tribute certainly made me cry, and I don't mind admitting I'm a guy.
I discovered you quite by chance, by way of the Swearingen blog. And I'm mighty pleased I did.
Peace to you mate. And to the spirit of your wife's grandmother. Wherever we are in this reality or any another, we are all essentially one, in the greater scheme of things.
Peace.
You have such a deep marvelous way of expression and I would like to think that some of that came from me. I am so grateful you can express youself through writing mainly whether grieving comes through tears, talking, or writing, what is important is that it come out from within our inner being so that we do not continue to carry our pain and our sadness around like a ball and chain.
You have found a way to express your pain and that is so healthy for you my dear wonderful son.
Now, I am not saying that when the day comes that God calls me home, I won't wnt them to make sure to have a box of Kleenex with your name on it. :~). We have shared much in our lives. And I gave you life, something no one else did for you my son and my blood runs in the veins of your children as well...so very very proud to be called your Mother...I love you forever and when God calls me home, look up, not down, and know I will be smiling at you, listening if you speak to me if God allows me to hear. Write words as you do now. I went to the cemetery for 5 yrs and spoke to my father until the pain stopped and talked. Whatever each person must do is that person's tool of healing.
Love you, Mom
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